Even cynics have a soft spot they will deny about..

I know you're NOT busy and you're purposely not replying to me. I just wanted to say that this isn't easy for me..it was never easy..not that i want it easy because i dont.. What i'm getting at is that i hope we become okay so it won't have to be THAT hard anymore. Everyday is a struggle and we both find ways to make it easier than it seems and we probably convince ourselves on some days that we're okay. We go about our lives like everything is alright and everyone stops asking questions after awhile because that is how far we have convinced them on how we are and there are times we believe that to be true too.

Then there are days when we take time for ourselves to relax and have some ME time to reward ourselves of the hard work we've been putting in. We are given a little free time to clear our minds from all the stress but what was originally time to feel better will only make us feel worse. Time alone will get us thinking of things we worked so hard to be distracted from. It will bring back all the shit we tried to bury in the back of our minds and it will spark that flame in our hearts that we thought has already died down.

Who are we kidding? You and I no matter how far or how long it's been will always be the same You and I that one June night. You and I will always have that chemistry that is easier than the sluttiest slut we know. We are effortlessly beautiful, love. No matter how hard we deny it or fight it, we will lose because there is no winning against what the universe has set up. 

The cynic in me doesn't believe in fairytales and all that destiny bullshit but the hopeless romantic in me believes in you. It still believes in us. We don't have a fairytale story and we won't ever have one. We're both too dysfunctional and complicated to have one. But i do know we have a great story. A story that will never truly have an ending because it will be the kind that will continue on regardless if we end up together or not. It will either make us the happiest we can ever be in this life or it will haunt us eternally. 

I don't really know if you feel the same way. I am assuming that you are. Somewhere deep inside me believes that you do but I don't want to sound so sure because I could be wrong. The possibility that I could be wrong about this is there but the possibility of me being right is there too and we both know that I'm rarely ever wrong about these things.

 You're still an asshole for being such a dick to me and I am still furious of how you allowed for things to get out of hand like you did but I am still the same bitch of a girl who misses you and longs for you despite all the shit that has happened.